In the fourth chapter of the Gospel of Mark, Jesus tells a parable to his disciples about plants and seeds. He tells of the farmer who planted seeds and how some fell on fertile ground and lavished while others fell on rocky ground. Still others fell among thorny weeds and choked the good plants. This is pause for reflection – sometimes relationships don’t grow as they should because they are not able to thrive on rocky ground. Like any good cultivator knows about plants, so too, is it true that relationships need nourishment and proper care, attention, ample water and sunlight to grow.
Remember when Jesus met the Samarian woman at the well and offered her eternal water so that she would never thirst again? Sometimes when we are in the deserts of our relationships, the hardest thing to do is to simply search for God and cry out to Him. The psalmist expressed these words in the 63rd Psalm: God! My God! It’s you – I search for you! My whole being thirsts for you! My whole body desires you in a dry and tired land, no water anywhere.” If we are honest with ourselves, that’s how our marital relationships feel at times – like we are in a dry and tired land with no sign of water anywhere. But let us not forget that our loving and merciful God is always right there. We need only cry out to Him and he will give us the water that we need. Remember, as believers we are dependent on God, yet often times we neglect to simply call on Him for our most basic needs.
So what about this sunlight that is required for growth? There has to be exposure to God’s light – prayer, Bible study, and intentional time together allowing God to order your steps for a healthy and growing relationship. We can’t choose to continue to sit in darkness – that is, void of spending time with God and being disobedient to his Word - and expect there to be a transformative change within our marital relationship. Without God leading, guiding and ordering our steps, we cannot possibly thrive!
And as for the thorny weeds in this parable – these are the seasons in our relationships when communication becomes harder, being around one another becomes a chore and simply trying to be on the same page becomes almost impossible; and, like in the parable, weeds will choke the good plants. In the instance of my illustration, it appears that two plants can indeed grow in the same soil, but one gets choked. When we spend more time quarreling, being upset, unvalidated, underappreciated and less time being loving, giving, attentive and supportive of our God-given mate, the aforementioned weeds will most definitely choke one of the plants and render it looking and feeling lifeless.
I dare to even suggest that one plant can be sucking the life out of the other plant. While both are in the same soil, presumably privy to the same level of moisture, water saturation and sunlight, one of these plants is having a tough time adapting. Perhaps its relationship immune system has grown weaker by the frenzy of life – stresses from work, unmet goals, unrealized dreams, financial burdens and the like. It’s not that the other plant does not suffer these same things, too, but these real-life situations have taken its toll on the non-thriving plant. But all hope is not lost.
